Raw sex feels better; but condoms make it last longer.
by Reggie Smith
“This is a man’s world; but it would be nothing without a woman or a girl”
As a young man, when I was just getting started on my sexual journey, sex felt so good, I had no control over my orgasm’s. I wanted to please my partner, partially for my ego’s sake, so I really needed to figure out how to last longer during sex so that my partner could achieve our ultimate goal – that OOOHHH God moment – an orgasm for us both. Even at that young age, it was emasculating for me that I had no control over my orgasms, and that caused me to find other ways to control my relationships.
Later on, I found that alcohol and drugs helped me last longer and be more passionate, but the sex and drugs were addictive. Unwanted pregnancy was more of an issue than diseases back then, so we took our chances and did not wear condoms. So, if I were really a considerate lover, I would have given condoms more consideration. Condoms could have added an element of trust to each encounter that would have outweighed the lack in spontaneity. I wonder how (lack of) sexual knowledge, attitudes and behaviors are affecting our relationships in the entire world today? How much of the world’s woes are a result of male sexual inadequacies?
Taoist master, Mantak Chia, says, “At heart most men are as terrified of women’s infinite sexual capacity as they are fascinated by it. The general effect on men is to make them feel sexually insecure and causes them to attempt to compensate with some other strength. ” After all, like James Brown said; “this is a man’s world, but it would be nothing without a woman or a girl.” Mantak also proposes “sexual insecurity may be the primary reason men have sought physical, political, financial, intellectual, and religious advantage over woman. Correcting this sexual imbalance could have significant side benefits in establishing a more harmonious society.”
The Taoist sexologists teach that sexual intercourse is a form of ec-static acupressure. The ends of the body are a rich source of acupressure and reflex points. This is why pressing the feet, hands, ears or face is usually thought of as reflexology. Yet, the most intense and powerful reflex points on the body are the sexual organs themselves. Sexual energy is de-rived from the best energy of the body. The whole body is involved with providing the sexual center with energy. Therefore, the sexual center is the condensation of all the body’s energy. This is the reason that the health of the sexual center is critical to the mental, emotional and physical health of us individually, and therefore the world.
Cash rules everything around me, but sex makes the world go round! It seems that as men, we protect our illusion of power and control in order to compensate for our insecurities. We have invented Viagra and Cialis to even the playing field for men, but still have no effective vaginal microbicides. A vaginal microbicide could prevent sexual transmission of infection and further empower women to influence the result of their sexual encounters. That would be a big step in changing the dynamics of power between men and women.
It is going to take a sense of caring and sexual reeducation to change the power dynamics in the world. Partnerships are what is needed in this world of duality, not domination. The microcosm of our personal sexual relationships may very well be evident in the macrocosm of world of politics, finance, and religion. Sex is great, but it is not worth the price of HIV. We, as men, should be more empathetic in our approach to sex and everything else in the world. Maybe women will do a better job of running the world when they take over.